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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?